Happy Halloween!!

We had lots fun trunk-or-treating with our church family and the absolute most darling little jack-o-lantern I've ever seen! Thanks so much for the fabulous costume, Granny! We're looking forward to lots of trick-or-treaters tomorrow night.

book review: parenting with positive guidance

As Carson leaves babyhood behind and enters the exciting new world of toddlerhood, I've been thinking a lot about discipline. I want to discipline him in a way that encourages self-control and motivates him from within, rather than simple compliance in the moment as a result of some external motivation and/or punishment, and I've struggled with how to go about it. I want my interaction with him to align with our family values, rather than contradicting them. For example, I don't want to spank him while teaching him that hitting is not how we solve problems. I want to use logical consequences and take advantage of teachable moments. It's easy to begin feeling overwhelmed with the great responsibility of raising a human being, so I'm thankful for all the help I can get!

I was excited when I saw that the author of one of my favorite blogs, Amanda Morgan, wrote an ebook on discipline, Parenting with Positive Guidance. Because I always enjoy and learn from her blog, I had high expectations for her book, and it did not disappoint. It's a quick and easy read, with only ten chapters and 100 pages. The chapters are organized in three sections: Building Discipline from the Inside Out, Inside the Toolbox, and Bringing it All Together. She includes both theory and practice and offers practical ideas without pretending there's a one-size-fits-all solution for every child or every family.

One of the things that stood out most to me was when she explained that we have to teach children appropriate social skills just like we teach them to read or tie their shoes. Learning takes repetition, and just like reading and shoe tying are not learned overnight, neither are social skills. Children aren't just testing our patience and being ornery when they repeat inappropriate behaviors over and over and over again, instead they're learning what behavior is acceptable, just like they repeat various sounds over and over before combining them to read words and practice looping their shoelaces over and over before mastering shoe tying. I hope that recognizing this basic principle will help me be more patient as I teach Carson appropriate social skills. I realize that disciplining is hard work, but I hope that by being proactive and "teaching for long term growth rather than controlling for short term results [I] will be able to step back more and more as [he] becomes increasingly capable of monitoring [his] own behavior."

I recommend this book to parents interested in an intentional and logical approach to discipline. In addition, I also recommend her blog, Not Just Cute: Intentional Whole Child Development. As parents and teachers, it's easy to spend time on activities just because they're cute, rather than choosing developmentally appropriate activities that foster growth and learning. In the same way, it's easy to see young children simply as cute, rather than recognizing them as complete people. Amanda titled her blog "Not Just Cute" because she writes articles and highlights activities that are more than just cute, because young children are so much more than just cute.

i gotta find daddy, 'cause i think he needs a teddy bear:)

spontaneous watermelon picnic with my boy!

playroom

For the seventeen years I was a student and the seven years I was a teacher, I loved this time of year. Last year was the first time since I was four years old that I didn't go back to school. My big preggo belly and I still browsed the school supply aisle, but since Carson was born on the first day of school, I didn't have too much time to miss it. I was busy getting to know my precious miracle and learning how to be his mama.

Back to school is always full of excitement, new beginnings, and new relationships. Teachers anticipate getting their class list while children anxiously wait to find out who their teacher will be. The pointy new pencils are excited to gradually transition from an awkward fist to a graceful home between the thumb and fingers as their owners become increasingly comfortable with them and learn to form the letters that represent sounds, then combine them to form full words, which they'll then put together to form complete sentences, paragraphs, and eventually even complete stories. The full boxes of sharp crayons are eager to dance between chubby fingers as children draw pictures to represent their hopes, dreams, and fears. It's a special time for all involved.

I don't have a classroom to prepare this year, but as my baby becomes a boy, I'm having lots of fun preparing space, materials, and opportunities for him to play and learn. The previous owners of our home converted the garage into an extra living space. We've enjoyed the space; it houses our treadmill, games, and a few other odds and ends, but since we first moved in and long before I was pregnant, I've been mentally transforming it into a playroom:) I don't typically spend much time or energy on decorating, but play spaces are different! I enjoy walking up and down the hallways at schools and churches and seeing all of the different ways teachers create environments that promote security and learning. I have fun browsing the internet for various play and learning spaces. Providing pleasant space for children to play, discover, explore, and learn is one of my very favorite things.

We used baby shower gift cards to get the toy cubby shelf, deciding it was a more organized option than a traditional toy chest. My parents gave us the glider and Keith's parents gave us the couch with hide-a-bed. Using Christmas money, and after much searching, I found just the right fun and colorful rug so Carson would have a soft place to play. For the past several months, the toy shelf has been on the wall on the left side of this photo with the couch across from it on the opposite wall and the rug between the two, but as Carson became mobile, his favorite place to go was straight through the room, past the soft colorful rug, past the blocks, books, and puzzles, straight to the treadmill and toolbox. These, of course, were not safe play options for my wee one, and spending time in the playroom became more about me saying no than about Carson playing, discovering, exploring, and learning. So, one day a few weeks ago, I had a idea! Why hadn't I thought of this sooner?! I moved the couch and the toys to create a wall blocking the alluring treadmill and tempting toolbox. Sure they're still back there, and he's tried to maneuver his way back toward them once or twice, but they don't dominate his attention the way they once did. Instead, his focus lands on his legos, tractor, or xylophone. It's amazing how a simple furniture shift can change the dynamic of a room and the experience of the people in the room.

During our recent trip to California, I spotted these fun alphabet cards, and my sweet husband sneakily added them to his Amazon cart and surprised me with them. When my mom was here a couple months ago, she helped me hang them. Then last weekend, Keith mounted these gutter book cases so that Carson can select a book by looking at covers, rather than spines. He can easily reach the bottom gutter and I can change them out every week or so. The top one is out of his reach, but is a fun way to display some of his books and stuffed characters, and of course, they too are easy to change out from time to time.

Creating an organized space for my sweet boy to play, discover, explore, and learn is one way I've made my life lovely:) If you've never read Heather's blog, check it out! Her story will touch your heart, and her sweet spirit and desire to make life lovely and enjoy the blessings of each day are a rare treat.

gettin' my craft on: memo boards

With inspiration from around the web at my fingertips, thanks to pinterest, I've been feeling crafty the last few weeks. Memo boards are my most recent craft of choice. They're cute, practical, simple, and inexpensive to make. What's not to love? Find an old picture frame, give it new life with some spray paint, and add one of the following:

• chicken wire and clothes pins
• leave the glass and back with cute paper or fabric
• chalkboard paint
• tin or magnetic paint
• cork
• mini clothes line

I painted this one purple and glued chicken wire to the back. Then, glued scrapbook paper pieces to clothes pins and sanded their edges.

I painted this one and added scrapbook paper and a dry erase marker. Lots more fun than a plain ol' dry erase board, and you can always change out the paper for a quick new look.

Now for my favorite, the chalkboard! I've been wanting to paint a chalkboard wall in the kitchen and/or playroom, but I decided a big framed chalkboard was a better option for now. Someday, when Carson is older, I want to create an interactive playroom wall with chalkboard, dry erase, magnet, and cork! Anyway, back to my chalkboard:) The thrift store near my house had lots and lots of various sized frames. I was excited to find a couple of really big ones.

Here it is before: a picture of a family eating dinner with Jesus behind them and gangster-looking men peeking through the windows. Alrighty.

First, I tossed the broken glass, cleaned it up, and spray painted the frame. Then, I sanded down the picture a bit, and spray painted it with a couple coats of chalkboard paint, waited 24 hours and primed it with chalk. TaDa!

I still haven't settled on a final home for it, and since it's framed and not permanent, I can try it in various spots before settling on a home!

I still haven't decided what to do with this beauty...we'll see where the crafty wind blows:)

What have you been crafting lately?

a whole year old!!!

august 2, 2011

26 pounds 7 ounces

30.5 inches

Precious Son of Mine,

I can hardly believe you are a whole year old!! I remember clearly the absolute joy and immediate love I felt for you when I held you for the very first time one year ago. What an amazing miracle and precious gift from God you were! Over the past year, as you have grown more and more each day, my love for you has also grown more and more. I am so very thankful that God has blessed me with you. Along with being Daddy’s wife, being your mama is my very favorite job! I love love love spending my days with you, watching you learn and grow and play. I am so very thankful that you are such a happy, healthy boy. You have no idea how much joy you bring to everyone who meets you!

This month you’ve continued to grow bigger and learn new things. You wear size four diapers during the day and size 5 at night. You wear 12-18 month clothes. People always comment on what a big boy you are and how healthy you look, and many people point out your adorable chunky legs! I love to squeeze them and kiss them!

Sometimes when we’re sitting in the floor playing, you crawl over and plant a big open-mouth slobbery kiss right on my mouth! It absolutely melts my heart, and I love that you are learning how to show love in new ways. You have lots of fun and like to clap, wave, point, and dance! Your knees start bending and your arms begin to wave as soon as a new song comes on. We love to watch you dance. You love photos, especially ones of you! When you see one, you excitedly point and grunt. You like to look at them up close and touch them.

You are an excellent sleeper! You take two naps each day usually for about 1.5-2 hours each time, and you sleep for 11-12 hours at night. We are proud of the good sleeper you’ve become. After a couple of books, a song, a prayer, and a few snuggles, we lay you down in your crib. The calm time together just before laying you down is so special to me. You quietly play with the stuffed animals in your bed before drifting off to sleep. You usually wake up cooing happily, ready to have some milk, and if we’re lucky, a few more snuggles, too!

Toward the end of July, Mama and Daddy were invited to attend a retreat for ministry couples. We were excited about the chance to be with mentors that we love and respect and to get to know other couples in full time ministry, but we were a little leery of being away from you, our precious baby boy, for four days and three nights. After thinking it through, we decided to go for it. The retreat was in Texas, so Pops and Granny were eager for the chance to have you stay with them while we were at the retreat!

Before we left for our trip, we switched you to your big boy car seat, and you seem to enjoy it. We left on a Sunday, and before heading to Texas, we went to St. Louis to visit Bobel and Reenie. The grownups went to a U2 concert to celebrate Bobel’s birthday and you stayed with a babysitter. I was a little bit nervous about how you would do staying with someone you didn’t know for the first time, but you did great and had fun playing with Bonnie while we were at the concert. The next day, we had fun playing with Bobel and Reenie. On Tuesday, we headed from St. Louis, MO to Royston, TX. We drove through Oklahoma so that you could mark a couple more states off your list. You’ve now been to nine states: TN, TX, AR, MO, CA, NM, KY, IL, and OK! You did great on the long road trip. We thought it was neat that you got to see both sets of grandparents in one day, your city grandparents and your country grandparents! Aunt Misty took off work so she could stay there and spend time with you, too. Before we left for the retreat, our friends, Bob and Kay, came over and we decided to give you a haircut, but this time we didn’t just trim around the edges with scissors, instead, we used clippers and gave you a short/big boy haircut. I wasn’t sure we should do it, because your head full of hair had always been such a big part of your look, but I decided to go for it, and it looks adorable. It made you look quite different. You look older, but just as cute. I think it makes you look even more like Daddy! The next day, we headed east to the Texas Hill Country, and you stayed in West Texas. We had a wonderful time at the retreat, and you had lots of fun with Pops, Granny, and Aunt Misty. You even got to go to the Mahaffey family reunion and meet lots of cousins while you were with them. They sent us lots of pictures while we were apart, and that made it easier to be apart.

After the retreat, we met you in Weatherford and spent time with some good friends before heading home. We stayed the night with the Graves and with the Riches. You had fun playing with Lynlee and Kyndall and with Jaxon. We are thankful for those two families. They have been good friends of Mama and Daddy’s for several years, and we’re thankful you can be friends with their children, too!

Being away from you for the retreat meant it was time to wean you. So, in mid-July, we started gradually replacing your nursing times with milk in a cup, and after a couple of weeks, just in time for the retreat, you were drinking all of your milk from a cup like a big boy. We worked hard to make nursing work when you were a newborn and it was a special part of our first year together that I will always treasure in my memory, but I am so thankful that you transitioned to whole milk so well and are growing up just like God made you to do! You drink a cup of milk when you wake up in the morning and after both naps. You still enjoy meal time. You’re a great eater. You love bread, crackers, and fruit. Your favorite vegetables are carrots and sweet potatoes. Your favorite meat dish is cheeseburger pie. We’re working on teaching you not to throw your food and cup in the floor, and you’re getting better.

You are still a fast crawler, but you’re walking along side a wall or table every chance you get. You hold on using only one hand now and are getting to be quite quick and steady! You still love to push your diaper box or anything else you can find: a chair, a stool, a basket, anything you can scoot and push as fast as you can. You aren’t walking all of the time, but you did take your first steps this month. While you were staying with Pops, Granny, and Aunt Misty on Friday, July 22, you took four steps, and a little while later, you took seven! We called you a little stinker for taking your first steps without us, but we were so proud of you, and it wasn’t long until we were able to see you take a few wobbly steps here and there. We are so proud of you; walking all by yourself makes you look like such a big one-year-old boy!

We celebrated your first birthday with a party on Monday evening, the day before your actual birthday. We had a cake shaped like a one and a little cake for you to smash. We also had some of your favorite snacks: watermelon, blueberries, and goldfish. Bobel and Reenie got to come to the party, and several friends from church came too: Ronnie, Angela, CW, Laquita, Lloyd, Nita, Kaye, Lindsey, Margaret, Vickie, Rick, Ann, Jon, Michelle, Tabitha, Hannah, Emma and Bo. When we first gave you your cake, you carefully picked the m&ms and icing off the edge and ate it, but with a little prompting from Kaye, you started patting the cake and quickly tore right in, making a big mess! Everyone enjoyed watching you smash your cake! Then, you opened presents and got lots of fun new toys and books! It was a special time.

The next morning, on your birthday, we greeted you with balloons and sang “Happy Birthday”. We had blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Bobel and Reenie stayed for a few hours and gave you a couple more presents to open. You opened cards you’d gotten in the mail from family and friends. Daddy got to stay home, so the three of us enjoyed the rest of the day playing together.

What a year! My heart is overflowing with lots and lots of love for you, Precious Boy!! We are so very thankful that you are part of our family. We pray for wisdom and discernment as we guide, love, and nurture you from a baby to a boy and eventually to a man. It is a big job and we are honored to take on the challenge!

My prayer for you is the same as it was a year ago: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God!

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Mama